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Blonde One Liners
A blonde said, “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid.”
How do blonde braincells die? Alone.
How does a blonde high-five? She smacks herself in the forehead.
How do you confuse a blonde? You don’t. They’re born that way!
How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she’s pregnant.
How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in their ear.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday!
I’m blonde. What’s your excuse?
I’m not dumb, I just have a lot of blonde moments.
If pink and glitter were vitamins blondes would be the healthiest people alive.
We all have one ginger friend that claims to be “strawberry blonde”.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a guy? The blonde has the higher sperm count.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? They both drip when they’re fucked.
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